How To Navigate Family Tension During The Holidays

Colbi Twiss • November 13, 2023

The Holiday season is a time for families and friends to gather and celebrate! But…it can also be a source of frustration and stress for those trying to navigate difficult family dynamics. Idaho Today’s Mellisa Paul speaks with Cathy from Warm Springs Counseling Center to get expert advice on the best way to navigate conversations around the dinner table this Thanksgiving. She also addresses how to identify when it is a good time to set boundaries and how to enter into a situation with confidence and avoid conflicts.

Some basic reminders to help get you through the holiday season with your family.

  1. Focus on Commonality. Leave things that divide you/your family at the door. If that is politics, leave it behind. It’s okay to set boundaries around what’s okay to talk about and not okay. Let it be known that you don’t want to argue around different views/beliefs. Instead, focus on what you share together and what you have in common-a shared history. Ask questions, how did G&G meet? How is school going? Share favorite childhood memories.
  2. Take a breather. If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, take a moment for yourself. Go to the restroom and look in the mirror. Hold your shoulders up, and remind yourself, you got this! Go check on the kids, help in the kitchen, go for a walk, enjoy a game of football.
  3. Pick your battles. Sometimes it is okay to just let things go and let live.
  4. Bring a friend. If your family is inviting and likes the company, bring a friend to be by your side. 
  5. Watch the alcohol intake. A glass of wine or hot cocktail is always great around the holidays, but make sure not to overdo. Sometimes too much alcohol can lead to heated conversations and uncomfortable situations. 
  6. Fulfill your cup! If you are not up for the family dynamics this year, remember to take care of yourself and do something that makes you feel good. Help out at the local soup kitchen or food bank. Host a friends thanksgiving!
  7. Plan a night out (or in) with friends after the holiday to decompress and have a good time.


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