Handling Stress and Back to School
Taking care of children’s (and adult’s) mental health during the summer!
Kids and teachers are excited for summer, a break from school.
While many look forward to this, many kids who struggle with anxiety, depression, ADHD/ADD, and autism, summer can set off stressors and feelings associated with anxiety and other symptoms.
This can show up in behaviors like wanting to be in control, wanting to isolate, sleeping a lot more than usual, and tantrums. This can be exhausting, overwhelming, and frustrating to parents.
Hang in there! Keep reading for things to remember and some helpful ideas:
Some basic concepts to remember to help your child’s teen’s mental health -and your own- over the summer
- Summer is an opportunity, a time to reconnect with your kid(s).
- Structure and schedules are important. Everyone, especially children/teens like to know what is happening for the day. This is the most important part of creating a reduced anxiety driven summer.
- Focus on rewards for a couple of positive behaviors (listening, going to bed on time, helping with chores). Try to ignore negative behaviors as much as possible.
- Spend time together as a family!
- Have something planned to look forward to.
Basic Concepts
Opportunity
Let summer be a casual way of reconnecting with you child/teen. Go for a walk and talk. Talk and laugh about the movies you watch or games you play. Listen to their interests and their stories. Look at pictures from the past. Let them know you are there, you care, and are interested in them.
Structure
Structure can be difficult to create, and for parents who are also neurodivergent, it can feel overwhelming. Creating a schedule/ routine is important, try to keep regular wake and bedtime routines. Creating structure can be in a written schedule or a picture schedule. This helps reduce anxiety as children know what’s expected and happening on a daily basis.
Structure can be found in summer programs and camps. For teens, getting a part time job can help with structure as well as making money- their favorite thing! Summer programs and camps - the library -summer reading programs, parks, splash pads, sports, music, theatre, swim lessons, and so many more. If money is an obstacle many of the camps and programs offer scholarships to help it be more affordable and accessible to children and families.
Structure is also important to keep on vacations (as much as possible) for children with autism. This can look like keeping the same wake/sleep times, favorite snacks, and as hard and non-vacation like it can feel to us as parents, often eating out can turn into a disaster, so, if possible, have a place you can prepare meals and have more control over the routine on vacation as you are able to.
Rewarding Positive Behavior
Focus on one or two positive behaviors to work on over the summer. Using stickers or something similar, keep track of your child’s successes. Using stickers or magnets is a great way for an instant reward. After so many stickers are obtained (you and your child choose) they get a reward. Keep it simple. Could be getting an ice cream cone. Going to the dollar store. Give them a couple of reward ideas that you, as a parent/caregiver, are okay with and then let them choose what it will be.
As hard as it can be, try to ignore negative behaviors, even with negative attention. Often, behaviors have both positive and negative natural consequences.
Time Together - Play
Have a movie night or game night, these add structure and fun! It is a great time to get outside. Go to the park, zoo, the splash pad, community pool, camping, bike rides and walks. When it is too hot during the day, turn on the sprinkler, go to the library, museum, aquarium, or stay inside and play board games, video games like Mario Cart, have a picnic in the living room or build a pillow fort with your kids. (More ideas below)
Social Time With Friends
Set-up play dates for your kids. If you’re not sure how to get in touch with your child’s classmates’ parents, ask (e-mail) your child’s teacher to create a google document for parents who want to share contact information to connect for birthday parties and play dates.
Plan Something to Look Forward to
Having a trip to see family, a special event, camping, vacation…whatever it is, have a countdown. This is great for overall mental health, especially depression, and knowing what is going to be happening helps reduce anxiety. This also includes parent(s)/caregiver(s) to plan for “time off.”
Take family or friends up on their offer to help watch the kids or call a babysitter. Take time for yourself, go hangout with friends, connect with your partner. Remember, your mental health is just as important and this will help you enjoy the days of summer with your child/children even more.
Cool Summer Ideas!
Picnic at the park or in your yard
Lay a blanket down and cloud watch or star gaze
Plant a flower with your child/children, have them help with watering and celebrate watching it grow!
Go fruit/veggie picking at a local farm…or in your garden
Go to a park/splash pad
Visit the river
Go fishing
Fly a kite
Watch thunderstorms
Build a fort
Go to a sporting event/game
Go see a concert or a movie
Check out the local farmers market
Pick something from home, like a garden gnome, and take pictures of it at all the places you go
Day trip to a local town/city,
Visit a historic town or home
Go to a play or demolition derby
Collect rocks and paint them, then hide them throughout the town
Put on your own play at home-your kids are the main stars!
Have a water gun race. Put a hole in the bottom of two or more plastic cups and thread string or yarn through each one. Secure the ends of the yarn to a starting point and an ending point. Use full squirt guns to shoot water into the cups so that they race along the string. The first cup to the finish line is the winner.
Play in the rain and splash in the puddles
Go to the Drive-in movies
Free movie in the park
Treasure / nature hunt in the backyard/neighborhood
Make homemade ice cream
Play dates
